My beloved girl has came to HK. I really really want to have a close touch with her, but...ai... 太多出包袱了！堂堂一個大學生，準老師斷不能去做一些別人認為幼稚的事吧！

Jen, actually, I can feel your hot motivation to join Justin's fan club. I feel the same as you. 

'If I had joined her fan club, I would have hugged her and had a happy-forever memory in my heart.' (Conditional sentences type 3 ~ show the regret)

Although I think I will be happy to join the club and I can get closer with her, I still cannot do it. Because I am my mother's and father's sensible daughter and I am my boyfriend's smart girlfriend. They would not expect me to do this, they would think it is a shame of them if I do it. (This is what I think in my mind)

Why do I always concern others' feeling? Because I am a GOOD girl~